


Dream

by simplyappear



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Feels, Broken Dean, Episode: s05e16 Dark Side of the Moon, Fourth of July, Grieving Dean, Implied Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, No Dialogue, Post-Season/Series 05 Finale, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Underage Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-22 19:26:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11386812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplyappear/pseuds/simplyappear
Summary: Dean dreams of Sam: his baby brother, his lover, his everything. Often. Normally, it would be nightmares; today is different.





	Dream

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work on ao3, and it's not even written in my own language! Kinda a bit exciting to post on my favorite site. This piece of work has no beta reader and I'm sorry for any grammatical errors.

On July 4th, 1996.  
  
He kisses Sam— his 13-year-old little brother. It's their first kiss, and it is a sin that he won't confess because for Dean, there is nothing wrong with Sam's cherries plump lips. It felt right. The softness, the sweetness of his baby boy pressed against his lips, screams right at him that Sammy is _his_ , and only his.

Sinful and Beautiful under fireworks light.  
  
Skin's warm underneath his palm, pink cheeks burning hot from the kiss. Alive.

  
  
Nothing could tear them apart.

 

* * *

 

  
Everything could tear them apart.

  
  
He dreams of Sam: his baby brother, his lover, his everything. Often. Normally, it would be nightmares; today is different.  
  
It is not the subject he wants to talk about with anyone. Even Lisa let him into her and her son's life when he showed up in front of their doorstep which Dean thankful for most of the time, promised himself to not makes them regret their decision. It's been six weeks since that day already.

Dean swears that he really want to do better for both Lisa and Ben. Especially Ben, who was twelve, surely sensitive for his age and needs a good father figure. He tried to be honest with them, once, twice, didn't matter but it seems to be that this issue can't be fixed by a nicely made cup of coffee to makes him feels decent and a small talk where most of the conversation was about trying to convince him to go back to the psychiatrist.

Chirist. Nothing would help when every god damn time his eyes shut the picture of Sam jumping into the pit of Hell going to replay again and again.

Lisa said it was part of mourning; when her grandmother died, she had a dream about her too.

It wasn't part of normal grieving process if hallucination involve.  
  
Eventually, Dean decided there is the only way that was going to help. Alcohol. Liquor only anesthetized him for a few hours. Then, the thoughts would come flooding back but at least it still better than doing nothing.

Large gulps of cheap whiskey go down his dry throat, burns to get him drunk and to forget how hollow he is when the most important person in his life, the one who sacrificed his own life to save the whole world, was gone.  
  
Permanently gone from Dean and every shit he could think of.  
  
At least this time Sam didn't go to Standford with zero phone calls. Hell. Sam went to hell, to Lucifer's cage, and rotten for eternity with the devil himself while Dean enjoyed his apple pie life on the earth surface.  
  
Didn't matter that Sam had to jump or not, an acidy feeling of guilt in his gut told him otherwise. His throat constricts. He should have stopped him.  
  
He should.

  
But he didn't.  
  
Maybe if only God give him a chance to have a last goodbye kiss with Sam, everything would be better.

**Author's Note:**

> Writing is hard. O(----( 
> 
> Tomorrow is fourth of July in my country. I'm crelebrating in my own way with this. lol
> 
> anyways— here's my twitter : @praewpwny


End file.
